I've Noticed A Lot Of People Spacing Out

Some interesting developments along the path of "I will rush no more." Well, three in particular.

The first is that when you go through the mental and physical aspects of withdrawal from the rushing lifestyle, you notice how easy it is to be pulled back into it. Society has it down pat how to pull you back in, often without you being aware of it till you're back smack in the middle of the old routines again. But when you get better at recognizing it, you can let it go again, over and over, till it gets easy.

The second is how you have to be attentive to not getting depressed or disconnected. All of the cues you have been accustomed to and which give you indications of being on track are being released. That will leave you somewhat adrift and that feels like depression and sadness. Remembering what your "compass bearings" are and what is of value to you will help to get you back on a track which is valuable and meaningful to you.

Working through #1 is actually fun because it feels so healthy and righteous. It carries you along with its own momentum and that helps you to come ever so much more into your present moment(s).

#2 is a definite problem and remembering why you started on this path is particularly valuable.

And the third thing I am noticing is how much and how often others seem to be "spacing out." The real revelation was, however, the other side of the equation, namely, how much I depart from the present situation.

I've known it all along but since I've been practising "go slow, mon" I notice it a lot more. In poker they talk about "the tell." It's the cue which a person gives off when they are nervous or trying to bluff you. The "tell" with spacing out is really obvious with some but with others it's more subtle.

The obvious "tell" is when someone simply looks off into space, often with eyes wide open and the gaze is fixed, and often unblinking. In that situation, if you are paying attention, you don't need to hear the "Elvis has left the building" announcement on the speaker system.

The spacing out does not have to last all that long. It can be an act of graciousness on your part to let the person "go elsewhere" for awhile. Or you could say "I was just wondering where you went just then." If you get a look of bewilderment or a startle from the person, it's a pretty good indication that they were simply not conscious at all of where they went. (There's a lot more there to talk about, but I am working on keeping my posts briefer.)

Sometimes the drifting is for the purpose of accessing information internally. It can then be brought back into the conversation to enliven it. Sometimes it serves the purpose of simply taking "a breather." Some people are so intense or work situations are so demanding that we are expected to rivet our attention all the time on the topic at hand. That's ok for short periods of time, but, frankly, is a lousy idea for sustained periods. And by that I mean not just in an individual conversation, but for what seems like years or decades. You think I'm kidding? I'm not.

But there's also the more problematic "spacing out" where the person is (like) splitting their consciousness between the situation in front of them, e.g., a conversation, and making reference to another scene in their mind. When that scene is being gazed at fixedly and if it has material in it which is disturbing, and the disturbing material is stirring up fearful responses in the body, then, well, that's a pretty good recipe for suffering.

If you're interested, look at the way in which your "spacing out" happens. Are you aware of what you are looking at in your mind? Are you aware of how it is impacting your body? Is it pleasant or unpleasant?

Remember it's not a good idea, in my opinion, to try and stop or block all of these departures. (It would be a whole other discussion to talk about how children are being constantly nudged to "pay attention.") But if you find, for example, that the content of your musings are causing you suffering, then you may want to either look at them directly to find out the messages are contained there, or, to withdraw your energy (attention) to them and come back into a more neutral present in your surroundings.

Happy voyaging.

The Continuing Saga of Television Withdrawal - or: "I must be getting better"

I watched just enough TV yesterday to see the Patriots pull off a sweet win over San Diego. Sweet.

Then, and this amazed me, I completely forgot about the 2 hour first show of the season for "24." That used to be one of my must-see shows. But in the early days of the (internal) change last year I found myself turning it off more and more frequently. Watching the adrenaline junkie feed his addiction for more adrenaline and watching him doing whatever it took to accomplish his task, twitching all the time, and having all that all doled out in 15 minute "cliff hangers" just got to be just too much.

Let's see, they had action - non-stop; betrayal - ongoing; torture - in the name of what choice do we have; an opportunity to break every law you can think of - in the name of expediency; torture and brutality - did I mention torture and brutality; governmental incompetence - well maybe not too far off that mark; and non-stop miraculous recoveries from just about every life-altering accident you could imagine. What's not to like?

I publicly apologize to my wife for a season or two of getting hooked into that program and telling her: "not now honey." The only lame excuse I can come up with is that I was suffering from television addiction.

"They" are so good at it. The marketeers. Here is what I think is their master trick: they hook you in the same way as they do for potato chips, ice cream, movies, must-have gadgets...they identify a deep need / wish / desire and then they offer all kinds of sizzle which "promises" to fill that need. And the interesting thing is they are able to do that from the first bite or the first viewing.

Well, they sort of meet the need. I think what they do is create an experience in such a way that you have a sense of the need being met - momentarily. And then the only way you can go further is to come back for more. And, you got it, they have the coming attractions for that program and for other programs of the same genre. Open mouth, shut mind, bite the hook and ask for more.

Of course this all has to be done with much hoopla so you don't think too much about it. If you did think about it you would find a better way of entertaining yourself and then maybe you wouldn't feel so empty. The emptiness has to be perpetuated to keep you coming back. That must be a bit what it's like to be hooked on crack.

Tonight, the truth must be told, I turned on "24" for about 3 twitches of the adrenaline junkie, one car crash from which both people walked away without so much as a stretch of the neck or back, driving to endanger multiple innocent people, terrorists all over the place, a gun shot wound, home invasion, a secret package, and .... oh yes, thank you Lord, I found the sanity to push the off button.

My wife said....approximately: well, no I'll leave that out.

Oh, and yes, I filled the artificial void encouraged by the TV world with this posting. Yes!

(Oh, #2, did I say the Patriots won last night? Sweet.)

Go give a hug to someone.

I'm Curious About That Speech Last Night and "The Unthinkable"

Yes, I am curious about the President's speech last night.

We all know that for a speech to be effective the attention of the audience has to be led in certain directions and away from other directions. Starting with that premise, and recognizing that discussion is vitally important, I am mulling over the following questions:

1. Just what are the mistakes which the President is taking responsibility for? If we knew what they were, then at least we would know what he is talking about and then the country could compare notes and know if he is referencing the same mistakes which undoubtedly led to certain consequences at the November elections.

2. What are the consequences which are so "unthinkable" that he doesn't make reference to? To my way of understanding the only thing which is unthinkable is something which is not real, something which you can't imagine. By his saying that those consequences would be unthinkable leads people to too quickly say, "uh-oh, we better not think about that / those things which are so unthinkable that we can't even begin to think about what they are." Huh? And, anyway, on the most basic of levels, hasn't a majority of the whole country been thinking about not "staying (that) course?" So it must be something else that is so unthinkable. Well what is that? Let's get that out on the table so we can then take appropriate steps based on that unthinkable thought.

I heard of a research project years ago where a speaker asked the audience what their most horrible fear of dying was. He then asked them to write it down briefly, and not sign it. The papers were collected and to make the story short, he then later gave the papers to a group of mental health professionals along with another group of papers which were written by people suffering from anxiety disorders. The task of the professionals was to distinguish which diagnostic group had written the fearful (unthinkable) thoughts which would then show that it was a reflection of their diagnostic group. (The papers were anonymous, but they were also marked in such a way that the researchers knew which group the responses were coming from, i.e., from the audience of "normals" or from one of the diagnostic groupings. Since the evaluators did not know which group was which, they were "blinded" in a research sense.)

Guess what: the worst fears were worst with all groups. The evaluators couldn't distinguish "normals" from "people with a formal diagnosis" on the basis of their fears! We all have these unthinkable thoughts. To me, even knowing that we all have them, even though mine will be different from yours, is somehow comforting.

(N.B. I heard this story many years ago. I remember thinking afterwards that I would like to have seen the original research study but have never been able to track it down, but in honesty I haven't really tried all that hard. Nevertheless, in this context I believe it speaks to a vitally important issue.)

If it is so unthinkable, it must be so really terrible that we as a nation would be willing to continue contributing to the chaos over there. What is the titular head of this country saying that we have to avoid ... here ... at all costs?

Is it the consequences of peak oil that we can't talk about? Or of peak debt and the consequences of that? Or of rampant diabetes? Or of not being able to go to pixel heaven and buy the next bigger sized plasma TV?

3. I am curious about which "American interests" he is referring to in his speech. I presume he is talking about oil, oil, oil, but maybe he's referring to other interests. As a curious person I really am curious about what those interests are. I am not saying that as a country, a great country, we shouldn't have national interests, but since he was speaking and appealing to the country directly, I feel I would like to have more clear statements so we can make better informed decisions .

Well, I had been wanting to get back to writing about trance induction and television, and about the importance of the food chain and the importance of an unrushed lifestyle, but they will have to come later.

Perhaps I should also end this posting by saying that maybe there should be no comments added to this post since unthinkable things which many are already thinking anyway might be said and then who knows what that would do to the (un)balanced way of life we don't have.

Turning off the TV and not rushing has helped me to think these thoughts. Is that unthinkable for me to have done those two things?