70th Post In My 70th Year: Reviewing
In my 70th year I am now posting my 70th entry and this is a good time for review and reflection
It all started four years ago with my first post in which I shared a dream. In that dream there was the ocean which changed from just being out there to threatening to engulf me and overwhelm me. In rereading it, i see it as a "sea-change" dream in which my unconscious, if you are comfortable with that word, was wanting to get my attention and to do that by getting up close and personal in a rough and tumble way. There was no specific content in it (other than the buoy and the man next to me) and I take that to mean that it was a general statement of change and that "it's" not wanting to wait any longer.
That post then went on about the process of reclaiming my life and the simple guideline I used to go about doing that which was captured in the dictum: "I will rush no more!"
After that first posting I moved about through a number of different topics. Looking back on them now, I see a pattern or a flow to them which on reflection is speaking to my "journey." I'm pleased to discern this pattern because I didn't want this blog to just become a random process of chats to myself and others.
I talked about consumerism, damage to the planet, oil addiction, big changes 'acomin, what-if scenarios, doomerism, a dream or two, mindfulness, shiftings and purpose. That's the top layer that, to me, manages to outline part of my journey over the past four years. Those of you who have been following this blog, and my comments on other blogs, know that it is not just a recitation of events, of the ilk that I did this and then I did that, etc. Imbedded in many of the postings is material which speaks to my narrative. That narration speaks from my life more recently, essentially from the point of taking that vow, of "I will rush no more!"
Staying with that "simple" guideline has had powerful effects in my life. It helped to recognize the treadmill, the mindless maintenance of habit patterns, the "fitting in," and many other ways that the "system at large" maintains itself through conditioning and expectations, real and implied. With those insights, which were not new to me, but they were fresh and had more depth this time around, I was aware that insight without appropriate and helpful action is not really all that valuable. It would lead to a "thought envelope" which in its separation from the whole doesn't really plump up the experience of the journey.
And just briefly, I am again reminded that anyone who directly defies the maintenance of the dominant culture puts themselves in harms way eventually. That choice may be a worthwhile one, but it's best to choose it while being in a context of being awake, aware and alive.
The transitional strategy which has been helpful has been to discontinue purchasing daily tickets to maintenance of old patterns if unproductive. That opens a portal for moving attention and energy to more wholesome and meaningful activities. In doing that it creates a different energy which has a different resonance and, it is in that resonance field, that new pathways are laid down within and without.
Therein lies the initial challenge. Once you withdraw energy from the previous pattern, you have to find something else for that energy. There are endless distractions and enticements in the world which are clammoring to be fed from your energy. But everyone of them will continue to foster something which is counterfeit. What keeps coming back is the importance of the understanding of the "within," the more authentic by virtue of direct experience and verification.
If I may, one of the goals is to move within and connect with original beginnings, our own song, and universal themes and not get caught in the unfinished business of personal history. That involves a courageous taking of personal inventory of thoughts, words, and deeds for the purpose of removing the knots, the blockages, the injustices, etc., which all impede growth and openness. The 12 step traditions all speak of taking, at the appropriate time, a fearless and searching moral inventory. Great wisdom there for those on the journey.
Anything short of that will eventually fall flat on its face. There is so much here in this process but this was to be a short review.
To complete this for today, the last several postings have largely centered around mindfulness, and purpose and shiftings. The guideline of the personal choice "I will rush no more!" remains, but there is also a quickening.
Two other things that I have noticed in reviewing the past postings. First, the number of postings per year has dramatically shifted in quantity. Year 1 = 20; year 2 = 30; year 3 = 12; year 4 = 7, and so far in year 5 = this will be number 1. This progression has been noted by other bloggers with their blogs, and is not surprising. Second, and this relates to #1, is that I have clearly made a decision to talk more personally, but yes I sure do get abstract, and am ever more clear that I am not interested in a rant of how messed up the world is, or posting what I think others will like, etc., but rather talking about these issues of growth, purpose, expression, journey, and personal mythology.
This will all also dovetail into a website which is currently being designed over the past several weeks, (and incubating for several months) and which will be called "Being Into The Journey."
Much more to come.
Isn't it interesting, the more I leave, the more I find myself coming back.
