Sunday, December 06, 2009

A Shifting

There's a shifting that's been going on in my life. I noticed it six months ago when I was writing in my journal. What actually happened was that I had made several consecutive entries into my morning journal and then the next morning I decided to review some previous entries from a few years ago.

I read several of the entries from "back then." The themes that I was writing about were similar - but different - from the most recent entries. That got me to thinking about how recurring themes have a way of, well, recurring. You might say that they recur because I have certain favorite pathways which my mind goes in and that those themes rise to the surface when I am at a pause point, or a point of reflection in my life. But I also sense that they are reflective of a larger ongoing issue; that of being called to an awareness of a path.

My regular readers know that I have mentioned this theme several times over the course of my writings. It's not a dead end, it's a reminder of something larger, something much larger.

I have spent the last six months thinking about this. What is my purpose? Why am I here? What wants to happen with my life? Is it something I choose, or something that is given, bestowed, perhaps as a gift? Thankfully I have been productive in both my personal and professional life and have been able to offer some of the best service ever. I am grateful that I have those parts of my life and in some ways I know that it could enough in itself.

I know, however, that there is more, and in that more, further, is the place of puzzling. How does someone discover this? Does everyone, or is it just some? Does it happen suddenly or is it a process of gradual disclosure and awareness followed by acceptance? Is it a one time opportunity or a synchronicity which shows up periodically?

So all of this has been going on. What is different is that this time I have been able to maintain a certain focus for a longer period of time. I have learned much and will be writing about that as I proceed with this unfolding and I hope that it will engage the interest of others and will spark some to also share their experiences.

The Quickening. Two weeks ago I was reflecting on all this over breakfast and wanted to near get up and shout for and "demand" a clarity of purpose. But there was something forceful and aggressive about that which I knew was not, at that time, the way to go. It's not a good idea to force a lock or an image or a discovery. I held the uneasiness over this frustration of not knowing my purpose.

When I got outside, I stopped in my tracks and offered a prayer: "I need help to get out of this stuckness." I let that prayer reverberate.

The response came in the form of words: "Being into the Journey." I felt instantly peaceful and appreciative. I was also aware that the overfocusing on a purpose, my particular purpose was the blockage and that the image of movement inherent in "Being into the Journey" is purpose, action, ongoing direction (purpose you could say) and something which could be a "mission."

As I have been reflecting on this, I am developing an awareness that "Being Into The Journey" is both an individual and also a universal process. It's both impersonal and also intensely personal. That dual awareness will be helpful for me in exploring my own journey and also to look at the whole process as experienced potentially by anyone.

5 comments:

Paul said...

Tim,

I look forward to more of your thoughts.

Dougald Hine said...

Hi Tim,

Just wanted to say, it's good to see you posting again.

Dougald

Tim Hodgens said...

Hey Guys,

Thanks for the welcome back. It's good to be back again, but then again, I've never been gone.

Dougald, I have to get back to you and engage you in your "re-storeying" work. I think it is "spot on" and in a sense that is what being into the journey is all about.

Tim

MojoMan said...

There's a lot to think about here, Tim. I hope you try to tease it out for us in a methodical way.

A few quick thoughts come to mind:

I have these feelings all the time. I sense a message out there somewhere, but it's always just beyond my grasp.

I wonder how many have these feelings. I don't think everyone does. Something about the "unexamined life."

Maybe these feelings are just a luxury and what we really need to do is just get on with it.

Fittingly, just a few days ago I watched the DVD "Peaceful Warrior" based on the novel by Dan Millman. If you're not familiar with Millman, check him out and look at his books on Amazon, etc.

Pen Wilcock said...

Waving.

Enjoyed this post.

When I began about three years ago to ask the question 'What was I sent here [to Earth] to do?' for about six months all I got back was the answer 'Look at the blue' (so I did that). Eventually I folded up my professional commitments and identity, and moved house.
Journey is right! They do take us places, these questions!