Adhesions To The Cube

I play the lottery every once in a while. Not because I think I'll win it big but because it gives me an opportunity to think about what I'd do if I did. That dreaming is actually more real than the possibility of winning. The first part is always easy: get rid of any debt, help the kids, take a family vacation, take a two or three month sabbatical, and maybe buy a toy or two.

Maybe I suffer from imagination deficit disorder (grin, grin) but after that daydream I still want to come back to my home and my routine and my practice, and continue doing psychotherapy. It's what I do. It's what I'm good at, at least on my good days. Good family, good wife, good place to live, and great profession. I'm lucky that way and I never lose sight of it. But, if everything is so many wonderful shades of good and great in Timmyville, then why this restlessness that I feel and keep coming back to?

Is it simply fear? Or, is it a fear of stepping outside the box? Is it a survival strategy to stay in the box since that is where it is safer? In the box (you can variously define it according to your circumstances) you know the boundaries, you have structure and schedule, and you have a means to support yourself and your loved ones. Perhaps it's a more primitive issue of not moving beyond the boundary of the campfire during the night. Out there is where the wild things are. Out there is where people disappear, where they get eaten.

Here's a different way of looking at it. What happens if, either suddenly or gradually, you become aware that the very way of the life you have been living is so separated from the rest of the world, the universe, that it becomes a matter of sheer survival to explore in order to survive? Perhaps this very restlessness is a dim recognition of how our species survived in the first place. There has been a body of thinking these days which says that to survive we had to leave the savannah.

Nature shifted and it showed up in the environment. What had provided a comfortable arrangement between species and neighborhood simply changed. To stay in that neighborhood and to not read the signs that something big was happening was to hold onto the old ways. It was like waking up and recognizing you are in a situation of diminishing ruturns and saying to yourself that the best you can do that day is buy a ticket to the lottery in the hope that you win big so everything can continue to be in the same situation we have known for so long.

At some point survival becomes a matter of moving out into "the other" to explore and accept challenge and to keep moving precisely because there is a sense that to stay in any one place for too long is to sense death, the death of too much security and too much comfort. OR, as some would say, the world as we have come to know it has become too toxic to spirit and expression.

A Few Thoughts About Quality Of Life

Let me get right into it: we have been defined in the economic image of consumerism. Of course there are other parts of the definition; we are a generous nation, we love our freedoms, we tend to be fast moving, we have a spiritual sense, etc. But beneath it all there has been a cloning of the "gotta get money" gene into our social DNA.

Thankfully that gene isn't in our original stem cells, but if those who want to be even bigger fat cats could, they would insert it into every corn flake in every supermarket in every state, city, town, village, and hamlet in America. In fact they would want that desire to be added to the basic instincts such that everyone would have three basic instincts: survival, procreation, and "gotta get money."

And having been defined that way, we grow so accustomed to define and appraise others with the same financial yardstick that we come to think of it as the natural way of things. But I don't think that is the way it has been all along. There has, I suspect, always been throughout history an awareness of how well one person is doing vis a vis their neighbors. That is understandable since we are hardwired to live and travel in packs. If their pack is doing better than our pack, then we want what they have, etc. It's a survival thing.

In the really old days those comparisons might mean do they have more food than we do, and are their hunting grounds better than ours? Have they been able to stay warm during the winter months? Do they have a means to keep their fires going?

Nowadays the comparisons are much more superficial. We don't need twenty questions to assess how others are doing. I was going to say we don't need twenty questions to assess how we are doing...but I'm thinking that we really have to do our financial self-assement in comparison to the "well-being" of others. More on that later, but for now, because the self worth part is determined on getting more and then that is coupled at some mythic time in the future when we will have enough and then we can live the really good life and never have to worry any more about having enough of - you got it - moola.

Let's see, what are the basic dozen questions we need answered to see how we are doing in comparison to others? Some are resolved in "conversation" and others are driven by visuals.

Where do you live?
What do you do for a living?
How far do you travel?
How do you travel?
What clothes do your wear?
Who is your mate (and all of the same questions about the mate)?
Where have you gone for vacations?
How successful do you appear?
How well do you express yourself?
Do you seem confident?
How good do your teeth appear?

Hmmm, I don't know that we will need the dozenth question, or even the baker's dozen question.

For right now, I'll stop. Perhaps you could add a few more. And I'll expand on this later, I promise, because to stop there is to just put us into a nasty despondency based on shallowness. And expand we must; expecially in these troubled financial waters we are observing.

Later.

Just Say "No!" to More Stuff

There's that old bumper sticker which says: "He who dies with the most toys wins."

It used to be good for a quick chuckle and a sardonic smile. Now it's not worth spit.

I was building two 4-foot square wooden frames for my square foot gardening project several weeks ago. I'm not much of a handyman, but I know how to screw pieces of wood together. I had a drill and drilled 48 holes. That was the "easy" part - "easy" in the sense that little "labor" was involved and it "didn't take much time."

Then came the actual screwing of the screws. (I don't know how else to word that so it will have to just stay in the post.) The screws were about 2" long and 48 were involved. I knew I had a screw driver (powered by me) and I thought that it would be efficient if I had an electric screwdriver. A debate followed in my mind as to whether this was a good time to buy one - after all I would be able to use it to assemble the frame "in no time at all" not to mention how I could use it for all those other projects which are always around the corner. Or was this another invitation, an opportunity to do it simply and to not buy yet again another some-thing which will eventually be sold at a yard sale, but not until it has collected dust for several years.

It turned out, I am pleased to say, to be an easy choice. My pockets remained heavy, no gas used to go to the mall to buy the gizmo, no time "spent" traveling (traversing would be a better word) to and from, no throwing away of more plastic and cardboard and paper, no warranty form to fill out - oh, did it feel liberating.

I got down to the business of using the screwdriver. I knelt and stretched. I used my fingers, my wrist, my forearm, my elbow, my upper arm, and then switched arms. When I got uncomfortable I stopped for a few minutes.

My son Andrew stopped by and I said: "hey, you wanna give me a hand?"

He said: "Sure."

Actually he gave me two hands and we threw in some conversation to hold the whole thing together even better. He even lent me some back muscles to help carry the frames from the garage to the upper level of my back yard. (It's even sweeter when he stops by and looks at the tomato plants growing in the frames - more history-making than I had anticipated - try and buy that at the mall!)

We grow when we put mind and effort and concentration and ingenuity into figuring something out; when we put our own chosen effort into our actions. Ran was talking about that a while back in his entry of May 21-23. Eleutheros was also referencing it on his blog when he talked about the tyranny of the mind set of: "Git 'er done (quickly)."

I've known for decades that consumerism is destructive. It's a parasitic meme which repeats and replicates itself over and again. And like any good parasite it feeds on it's host without outright killing it. If it kills the host slowly all the better since it can itself survive longer. And what parasite would give a second thought as to how the host continues to pay and pay and pay. But as I was saying in my last post on "It's more than just putting on the brakes" the "not buying" is incomplete - it has to be coupled with the life and living that has a way of taking root in those other spaces

Yes, I'll just say "no thanks, but could you pass me a little more time and a lot more of no-things." It's really just fine with me, when it's time for me to pass on, if I don't have all those toys.

I guess I'm shifting towards a "keep it simpler" kind of guy.


*****

From Wikipedia: "Cultural change necessarily involves resistance to change. The term Luddite has been resurrected from a previous era to describe one who distrusts or fears the inevitable changes brought about by new technology. The original Luddite revolt occurred in 1811, an action against the English Textile factories that displaced craftsmen in favor of machines. Today's Luddites continue to raise moral and ethical arguments against the excesses of modern technology to the extent that our inventions and our technical systems have evolved to control us rather than to serve us and to the extent that such leviathans can threaten our essential humanity."

And from http://www.primitivism.com/index.html : "Primitivism is the pursuit of ways of life running counter to the development of technology, its alienating antecedents, and the ensemble of changes wrought by both. This site is an exploration into primitivist theory, as well as various works that contribute to an understanding of the tendency."

It's More Than Just Applying The Brakes

I've been thinking a lot about this whole process of taking time, not rushing, and my mantra: "I will rush no more!"

It occurs to me that imbedded in the statement is an invitation to slip into an alternate way of being. I am coming to the conclusion that it (my mantra) is like a skeleton key for a portal to a different way of being and experiencing. If you go too fast or if you are preoccupied and harried in your "going" then you will miss the portal and the opportunity. But if you go at the right pace and with a state of mindfulness, i.e., being in the moment without the flood of judgements and preferences and qualifications, then the passage presents itself and you can slip into it.

However, if the "not rushing" is coming from a place of just putting on the brakes, a having to slow down, in the sense that it's a rule or a mandate, rather than a preference and an active choice, then it loses all of its magical potential. A rough approximation would be having to slow down in traffic but being frustrated the whole time because the impulse is to continue speeding, for whatever reason. Perhaps the classic situation would be with a person who has what is called Type A behavior. A person with that is suffering from an ongoing sense of time urgency, and anything or anyone who impedes that urgency is seen as a source of frustration. In those situations the best outcome (and it's not good at all) is to just endure the impedence; no growth there.

Most of the time simply not rushing will have a positive effect in my experience (provided it's not simply applying brakes). But the further gain will come when there is a softening into the moment and opening of the gates of awareness without preference. Nice things happen then, or more properly, new things have a greater chance of happening under those conditions.

There is one further piece in all this and that is that if you bring all of the "old" into the place of freshness, then it will just contaminate that place.

But all is not lost if you mess it up because the potential of using the skeleton key for the portal is always there. It's always there for the taking or experiencing. Sometimes I think it's like there is a revolving door which is ever present. If you enter, you leave one place, you move around, and then you can get out and be in the different place. And of course, the revolving door goes in the other direction also.

I'm talking about a skill. A skill for living well. A skill for improving the sense of appreciation and wonder and curiosity.

End Of Year Review...A Few Thoughts

I've had a good year and I feel sorrow that it is ending.

Big on my list for this year was starting this blog and entering the world of blogging. As the slogan on Technorati.com says, "55 million blogs...some of them have to be good," and it has been my good fortune to have come across a number of them already. I have started leaving comments on a number of blogs and in the coming year I hope to continue visiting people in my new neo-community. I hope that others also find my postings interesting and worthwhile.

OK, now here are some of my first thoughts from this past year. I'm happy to say that I've been implementing these and not just "jawing" about them - but there is much room for improvement. Yes, it's all about on-the-job training.

Most important preserve your health - walk, eat better food and minimize junk food, get enough sleep, manage your stress levels well

Know what you're eating

Turn off the TV

Work less at work

Love what is

Every day cultivate a sense of appreciation

Start each day with a walk followed by meditation

Stay present for longer periods of time

Be aware of the dance that in continuing and evolving around you

Choose joy

Use peace of mind as a compass reading

Appreciate the present abundance

Be aware of how most of the comforts of our society weaken us

Pay down all debt

Have a kitchen garden and grow as much as you can (this is way up on my list for next year - a totally new endeavor for me)

Accept uncertainty as a fact of life

It's all about energy

Nothing goes in a straight line for long

Consume less

With dependencies, proactively go through withdrawal

Develop mental toughness

Laugh more

Learn skills that will stand you well in arduous times

Be useful

Compass readings are generally more valuable for me than specifics

I will rush no more!

Happy New Year, and let's do our part to make the world a better place.

Tim

Needed: A Few Good Elevator Pitches for Global Warming

Here in the northeast the weather is just lovely. Mid-50's today and the Patriots won. What more could you want for the week before Christmas?

On the other hand, all this continuing and truly unseasonable weather is further evidence of a basic planet wide system which is moving further and further "out of whack."

I started Friday by reading a "rant" by Jim at his blog. It's probably not a good idea to starting off my posting with a suggestion that you go and read his post, but that's exactly what I'm going to do. Go now; it's the posting for 12/15/06. While there also read the comments section. Especially the entries from Arcolaura, and mine under the name of SimplyTim. Oh, and by the way, don't forget to come back here for the rest of my post.

Now, where to go with all this. I tested the waters with several people over the past few days. The form of the brief conversations was:

"Beautiful day."

"Yes. But so unseasonable."

"I'll take it anyway. Rather this than snow."

I would put in a few comments, for example, "I wonder if this is what they mean by Climate Change," or "It reminds me of Al Gore's movie - 'An Inconvenient Truth,'" or "Changes are happening."

Well the truth is that I thought those last three comments but didn't give voice to them. Why? Why not say it? Why is it that with so many people who have concern about global warming that they are hesitant to bring those concerns up for discussion? I point the finger at myself as much as anyone else, maybe more so.

The simple truth is that the people I mentioned it to clearly weren't interested in going any further with a serious discussion, at least at that time. (In some of my previous posts I easily went into what could be called an elevator pitch by saying that I had recently taken a "vow...I will rush no more." In those instances, the conversation went from there easily. Why not with this topic? Maybe it's because with rushing almost everyone can identify with it and have multiple examples in their mind. With the weather, with climate, it's too abstract. Maybe that's the real problem here in terms of mobilizing people towards action, towards outrage.)

With one person I said after a pause: "the change is coming."

He said: "Yes."

I had the distinct impression that he was just saying that winter will get here eventually. But there was a question in my mind as to whether he saw what I was saying in a much larger picture but didn't want to get into it.

And that's where I am wondering what some good "elevator pitches" would be. People in business and politics and activists do it all the time. Why are there so many others who are so reluctant to get the message down pat and practise it so that it can bring the conversation a few steps further. I would love to hear what some of your thoughts are.

Arcolaura said that she tends not to come up with quick responses while some others can. My sense is that there was so much depth and perception in her comments that it would be hard to spontaneously come up with them on the spot. That depth requires time and mulling over. However, her ideas perhaps could be shunted back to some of the spinmeisters to polish "pitches" which can break through, or invite more discussion; not just of the presence of changes, but of the implications and also what can or should be done.

Some other thoughts:

1. On NBC nightly news tonight there was an "in-depth report on global warming." I didn't time it, but they think 120 to 180 seconds is sufficient for an in-depth analysis. I won't even say it - yes, I will, are they for real?

There was a "chilling" reference to a new report that it is now thought that all of the ice in the arctic may be gone by 2040. I want to say: "WOW!" But the reality is that I don't know what that really means. I can imagine that it is big but what does it really mean? Maybe that's part of the problem with taking the discussion further with lots of people. The implications for most people are unclear. And with that lack of clarity, it's easier to keep doing business as usual.

A few moments later one of the scientists put it well: "It's what we don't know (about the implications of continued global warming) that concerns me. What are the surprises waiting for us?" Well said. There was a report in the paper yesterday about how they can't find any more dolphins in the Yangtze river. The end of a species, they wondered. I'm sorry, I can't relate to that. Maybe I have this gigantic blind spot but what does that really mean to me? I know it's important but there's that blind spot again - it's like I can't just see over the horizon. Maybe that's where the spinmeisters need to help out with scripts that will move conversations and me as well.

What would be a good example of a sound bite or an elevator pitch which captures one's attention, and seems to stop opposition? Well, when vice president Cheney said: "the American way of life is non-negotiable," it seemed that all discussion stopped for a while. That's powerful. It had the effect, I think, of stopping alternative thinking and by default, let things go on as usual.

Thankfully the discussion didn't stop in my mind and just possibly it didn't in the minds of many others. It takes time to look at that and to see behind the words and the rhetoric. Could it be that in the recent elections that is what the electorate was saying, that the non-negotiability of it all, and the raw power which is used to maintain that position is inherently wrong. Following that logic, the majority of the people didn't really know what has to be done, but they knew that a change had to take place, and they voiced that with their individual votes.

A lot of maybe's here, but maybe that's why the collective "we" don't take the real discussion further, why we don't make a collective decision to slow down, to change direction, because the vice-president was right, that there is a part of us which doesn't want to change. We'd collectively rather rush forward towards maintaining so nothing is lost. But remember, there is the other side in that same collective mind which knows it has to change...but the path, the route, the actions are not as collectively clear. Maybe my elevator pitch to that when combined to global warming is: "I wonder if global warming gives a hoot about the non-negotiable American way of life?"

In a somewhat disjointed way, I keep thinking about that frog in the movie, An Inconvenient Truth; if the heat keeps going up very slowly he doesn't do anything. He doesn't jump until it's a reflex - is that what we're talking about here? It will take a surprise, a threat to not the American way of life, but to the safety of the planet to then change? The nation know that we are collectively taking in too many calories, and yet look at the obesity rates. Now change oil for calories and wonder what would get the "collective" to change. The mind-set which is perpetuating the current direction is monumental and pervasive. The change will have to come from within. It will be a simple awareness, perhaps captured by the clarity of an elevator pitch which is so direct, so stealthy in it's clarity, that it leads vast numbers to shift direction in one way that will make a difference. Then legislation will help the mind-set to move in a direction, not the other way around.

2. As far as I can tell the government has been doing nothing substantive to deal effectively with this problem. Individual politicians appear "green" and will posture this way and that way, but as a whole, the government is deadlocked as usual. I'm basically a pretty conservative guy, but really, the political process on this matter is a joke. Yes, I know how that is a terrible overgeneralization but that's just how I see it. The bigger joke is, I suspect, most people know it, just like most people know that we are witnessing climate changes, but don't know how to move the process forward, for real. What we need is a good "meme" which in it's simplicity changes everything in a positive direction, at least with to the question of global warming.

3. A step in the right direction would be to do what the province of Quebec did, change the speed limit to 60 miles per hour. AND enforce it! Not with giving a ticket if you go 5 miles over the limit, but if you go 1 mile over the limit. My solution would be not to give a financially crippling ticket, just a modest ticket, but take a long time to give it. And then do it again 3 miles down the road, and repeat the process over and again. That would work. It wouldn't solve the whole problem but it would be a step in the right direction.

4. Remember that the basic rule of storms is that they continue until the original imbalance which created them is resolved. If CO2 is one of the major culprits, and we keep producing more and more CO2, and ...

5. A good piece of news may help. I went to two stores today looking for a copy of Al Gore's movie: An Inconvenient Truth, and both stores were sold out.

Addendum: 12/18/06 - My elevator pitch is: "I will rush no more! " Here's why that is so sweet: with that the emphasis is off global warming, and yet it's related. Everyone can identify with the natural balancing which is contained in the mantra, it gets underneath the usual counterarguments. And since rushing is essential to the perpetuation of the life style which we have all been inducted into, to change that piece, from within, one individual at a time, the possibility of "viral marketing" is very real.

Sitting in Traffic

A few days ago I hopped in my car and went out for a sandwich. It was 2 in the afternoon and the weather was just great. I only had 2 blocks to go, and one traffic light. It should be no problem, but guess again.

Getting through that traffic light took 3 light cycles. No problem for me since I was in no rush. I let one woman enter traffic from the right, got a smile from her and an angry honk from the man in the car behind me. No problem for me because I was in no rush and it still took another light cycle before I was at the light. I wonder if my doing some neck rotations while sitting there got him even more angry - he thinking that I might miss a possibility to "move like lightening" if the 15 cars in front of me should somehow magically disappear. The poor sucker, doesn't he know that time pressure kills - slowly?

While I was waiting for my sandwich I watched all the traffic on the major roadway. It was endless. I felt there was some insight which wanted to happen. What came to me was that it would have made much more sense to have walked rather than ridden. My feet, eyes, heart, muscles, my everything would have had more enjoyment had I walked. The problem, and it is a problem, is that even for short distances it is as if we don't even consider using the doggies for transportation any more.

It must surely be a conditioning thing. The hidden expectation is that if we ride, we will be more comfortable. We will save time. We will be protected from "the elements." We will be seen by others riding in a powerful, sexy, well polished car which is not impeded by traffic, and if perchance we stop at a traffic light a stunningly beautiful or handsome member of the opposite sex will admire us. Oh my, what a crock of baloney!

In this instance, for a short "trip," I was comfortable in my car, but not more comfortable than if I had had a leisurely walk. I didn't save any time. And like I wanted to be separated from a beautiful day?

I think it's a conditioning thing and as with all conditioning, it becomes habit and one of the prime characteristics of habit is that, after a while, it is automatic and does not require thinking to intervene. It gives a certain speed and efficiency, but at what cost? At the cost of being alive and conscious and, yes, free. We think we are free because of our cars. There is some truth to that. But on the other hand, what I observe is that most people are captive to their daily "trips." Where is the freedom in that?

I am not yet ready to be car-free, but I do wonder about what it would be like if my wife and I shifted from 2 cars to one. Perhaps 1 car and a bike. Perhaps this spring. Yes, that will be good and it will bring me a step closer towards a further goal I have of being "cage free and free to roam." Why should the chickens have all the fun?

(Addendum - 12/12/06) Another beautiful day today with just a touch of chill in the air. Walked for my sandwich today. Smiled all the way!

Societal "Know How" and Memory

I have been thinking about the implications of "peak oil," climate turbulence, quality of life and how to shift from living life on a cultural treadmill of running to just stay "caught up." Then I started thinking about some practical steps to increase my sense of self-sustainability. That led me to a startling conclusion. I realized that I have no cultural knowledge of how to grow any - ANY - of my own food. None, zero, zippo, nada!

I've put down some grass seed and a year ago I threw some clover seeds on my lawn. I was jokingly saying that I was going in the direction of biodiversity. I suspect I did that also because it reminded me of my good friend Gil who died last year; he had clover all over instead of grass.

But it also got me thinking that if I can throw down some seeds and let them do the work on their own and then enjoy seeing them grow and spread, then maybe, just maybe I could do something similar with a vegetable garden. Bright guy that I am (at least in my own mind) I figured that it can't be all that hard and that made it easy for me to keep coming back to it in my mind. Then I started asking people if they had gardens or if they grew any of their own vegetables and I sat back and watched their faces breighten if they did. I would ask questions like how big an area would you need for potatoes, have you ever considered asparagus, which herbs do you grow, how do you keep chipmunks from eating the roots, etc., etc. With every answer I received I filed it away in my mind and my "possibility mind" said maybe, just maybe I could do it.

Sounds funny doesn't it. I'm a fairly accomplished person. Clearly well educated in an academic and professional way. But the simple step of taking this step towards growing my own food seems so big by comparison. I guess that's why I'm saying that we are at risk of losing cultural awareness of how to do these things which are SO basic.

My parents didn't teach me how to grow vegetables. I never saw them do anything like that. Maybe that's where the broken connection was made even more broken. If I can learn to do this maybe then I can pass my new found knowledge on to my children and to others. It will show that it is possible. Of course I know it is possible, yet it seems like such a big step. The image that comes to mind is that of a rock formation on the Maine Coast (Nubble Point) where I saw a child hesitating to step from one part of the rock to the other even though they were separated by only a foot. The problem was that the child was looking down into that foot-wide divide which was many feet deep. The cross-over is easy - once you've done it. Before that it's surprisingly more troublesome. The knowledge that it really is not that big of a deal makes it more difficult rather than easier until you take that step.

On a slightly different note I came across a reference of a seed depository which Norway is establishing to ensure that our world does not lose the diversity of seeds which our planet already has. What are they thinking of which leads them to do this?

Cultural memory will not be found in the supermarket. Seeds once lost in the Amazon may well be lost forever if it were not for what the Norwegians are doing. Gardening is just gardening until no one remembers how to do it. Then we would be in deep compost.

By the way, I have found the book called: All New Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew and also the website http://Pathtofreedom.com to be invaluable. They have taken me many steps forward in having a plan laid all out for me for putting a garden in my back yard this spring. I will wait and at the same time I can't wait.

By the way #2, if YOU have this knowledge, pass it on to several others. Don't wait. You may take it for granted but take it from this guy who has never had a green thumb that it is important to share your hard earned know how with others.

Seed Depository Reference: http://www.dep.no/lmd/english/news/news/049001-210044/dok-bn.html

Struggling vs. developing my voice in these blog entries

When I look at my last post I know what I am saying but it also seems too complicated. When I'm talking with someone directly I am more to the point. I'm ok dealing with complex issues, in fact, I really enjoy them but only if I can find a simple design contained within the complexity. But when complexity becomes complicated, well, yuck!

Writing for my blog is a new process for me. It's like I'm still finding my "voice" and my primary drum beats. It's ok that I don't have it all together already in the sense that this is just the way it is. Trying to get it right - right away - misses the reality that this process develops over time. Grappling with something is fine and actually fun for me. Struggling, a habit I know too well, is self defeating. Struggling ultimately reinforces the trying, not the learning. Struggling puts more energy into the struggle and it is all an energy game.

The strategy which makes sense to me is to catch myself as soon as I can in the struggle, and then acknowledge the struggle, watch it for a few moments, then "release it." " How to release," you ask? By letting go, by bringing your attention to your next exhale. Do that for a few moments / minutes / decades and then place your energy on something which draws your attention and which is appealing. That way I / you are not putting more energy into a process which has already stopped being a lively experience. It takes practise but it is a way out of the struggle.

In that way then, the struggle becomes a cue to watch and experience differently. It becomes an opportunity to lighten up and then the struggle is accepted for what it is, a short circuit which blocks further and easy development. A struggle is then just part of the process, like a punctuation point which gives a hint that there is rushing going on, a trying to make it go faster. Better to ease off the throttle and shift gears before getting back on track. Better yet to refresh the compass direction before setting out again.

I feel better now.

And the gift from this is an awareness that the original intent is still there:

• To talk about shifting consciousness from rushing and hurrying to a pace dictated only by the reality of the current situation and not impaled on the demands of the external system, which for sure seldom has my / your best interest at the forefront of their agenda.
• To hear from others about how they came to a shifting point and how they followed through with it.
• To recognize and share information about the perilous times we are in from the point of view of impending changes which will occur to our society as climate change continues and the peak oil process progressively plays out the reality of how utterly dependent we have become on that substance.
• To recognize how we have been ultra conditioned to over-consume and to hand our lives over to specialists and how we give away our life-time to make money to pay for all that.
• To reconnect and rediscover basic skills necessary for self and group sustainability.
• To explore how people form new circles of common interest around the sustainable process.
• To integrate complex issues and to say it in plain english.
• To cultivate our inner sense.
• To clarify our values.
• To live the good life and to be in harmony with our surroundings

I suspect that should keep me busy for a while.

Disentangling from the habitual pull

It's one thing to think about making a change, it's another thing to do it. But the real development comes when we expand on the initial movement, and then continue on that path without getting lost in all the distractions.

For example, I have been thinking about creating and stepping into a less hurried and a more simple way of living my life. The thinking started a while ago and periodically I come back to it in my thoughts. There was then a progression where I started talking about it with others who have made the transition. Then came the critical part: how to continue on the journey in a more systematic way.

Here was the question: Do I make radical changes essentially all at once or do I make one change, watch for it's effects and then build on that. I opted clearly for the latter but left open the possibility that after following through with the "smaller" parts that at some point a "sea-change" event or moment may spontaneously present itself.

I look at it like the landings on D-day but without all the aggression. There were multiple landings at different locations and each one could help to boost the success factor, but if any one didn't materialize, the others could still move forward. In my mind there is a sense of purpose and a sense of mission with this process; but I've dropped the aggression. Compass readings to explore, yes. Force, no.

Here's the reality, however, no matter how appealing the new process may be, there is the force of habit which wants to pull you back into the old style. Everyone who has ever gone on a diet knows this. If it wasn't food, it was cigarettes, or alcohol, or buying. No matter what the dependency / addiction, the pull back towards the old pattern is always there. Maybe the D-day analogy is helpful here also. The bigger the initial wave, the bigger the undertow. The more forcefully something is pushed forward, the more forcefully do the counter forces attack back. From the outside, the pushback is from others who don't like or support the change. From the inside it the ease of unconsciously performing all the old patterns which slip beneath the radar which then deposit us back in the old patterns all over again. That's why the stealth approach holds more promise when it comes to following through.

Initially I chose the behavior captured in the mantra at the top of this blog. Then I decided to not buy a cup of coffee on my way to work in the morning. Then I started to think about how much pocket money I tend to walk around with, and I decided to carry instead only a few dollars. I noticed that with each of these decisions and actions there came a sense of freedom. In my mind the skirmishes were quite small. The victories were also equally small. But with the changes came an unexpected sense of freedom.

It reminds me of a quote I saved a while back, by Thoreau: "...for a man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let down."

Use it as a mantra

I have taken it on as one takes on any new practice or set of ideas. I repeat it often - "I will rush no more!" "I will rush no more!" "I will rush no more!" It has to be repeated in order to let it filter into my mind and then my body and finally to my actions.

Easier said than done as we all know. But I'm not sure that it's all that hard either as long as I remember to say it / do it. The hard part is that it goes against the whole cultural conditioning training of decades, of practically my whole life. The old adage that we don't break habits, we replace them, is helpful here. To try and extricate myself from the whole hurry system is a little like trying to get some fresh paint off your hand. The more you touch it the more it spreads. Better to let it dry and drop off as a solid blotch. Ok I know it's not the greatest analogy but you get the point.

One of the laws of physics states that for every action in the universe there is an equal and opposite reaction. That forms one of the core tenets of the Taoist approach to living also. It's taken me a long time to appreciate that and to apply it in my life.

So how do I, you, we change? By doing it. By remembering to do it, regularly. By doing it in a stealth manner - quiet and easy. Nike has it right -"just do it." The stealthy part helps to keep it under the radar so there isn't a major counterattack from the already established and overlearned pattern of behavior, i.e., hurrying, rushing, fitting more in, holding on till the next vacation, etc., etc.

I walk more slowly, except during my dawn walk. I pick and choose between the flood of ideas. I don't buy as much.